If you lack wisdom, ask God!

Parenting is hard at times. Have you ever felt like you were doing a horrible job of it? I have. Recently I missed noticing, really noticing, that something was not going well with one of my kids. I knew it was going on but I missed how serious it was. When I realized it, I also realized I didn't have a clue as to what to do given the situation we were in. Ashamedly, I felt embarrassed to ask anyone for advice because I felt like a failure as a parent. Let's face it, none of us really want people knowing our failures.

Thing was, this was not a matter of one of our kids disobeying us or a sinful behavior, this was different. I had no experience with this and I knew of no one else who had experience with it. I was frustrated, angry with God, sad, feeling like a total failure as a mom and I didn't know what to do. I would like to say that the first thing I did was pray and go to the Bible as I know I need to. When I finally did, I asked God to give me wisdom in what to do. James 1:5 - If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God...

Awesome thing is, God answered as He always does! I found myself continuing to think the same thing over and over and I knew it was the Holy Spirit giving me the wisdom I needed. I was to ask for help. There are more Scriptures in Proverbs that talk a lot about seeking wisdom and guidance and how the wise listen to advice. I had to suck it up, not be embarrassed and get some professional advice as well as talk to some godly friends that could give us advice and support.

The point... sometimes we need others to help us be the best mom we can be. God put people in our lives for this reason. Don't be embarrassed, none of us have this parenting thing perfectly down. We all have our parenting failures. The best thing is, God hasn't left us to flounder on our own. God is the perfect parent and He is there to give us wisdom. Go to God first, read His Word and He will direct you in every situation. God meets our needs and sometimes He directs us to others to give us wise, godly advice. I am thankful God has blessed me by putting some wonderful godly women in my life to encourage me and to help me along when I need it. Thank you to my friends :)

Pain in Parenting

My stomach churns and my heart burns...it's the pain I'm bearing in being a parent. You laugh, but it's true! I have heartburn because I'm trying to teach one of my kids a lesson. See, our son constantly complains about the meal that has been prepared for him. Literally, not a meal goes by that he doesn't have something to complain about. It drives me crazy!

Frustrated, I told him that I was tired of his complaining and that he could start cooking dinner for us. He was more than willing to cook and last night was his first night. He made spaghetti. I tried to assist him but he kicked me out of the kitchen. Later, looking at his sauce, he tells me it's too soupy. I laughed because he was complaining about his own cooking! I'm excited because I'm thinking that his having to cook is going to help him appreciate what someone makes for him and he will learn and stop complaining. Proudly he serves us our meal. Wow, it tasted like he poured an entire box of salt into it! And, it was full of pepper. We choked it down but when I was almost finished I realized he had not eaten his. Did he do this to us to get us back? As a joke, he might do that. But no, to my surprise, he had complaints about his own food and wouldn't eat it! Unbelievable! My husband and I were left eating a pack of Tums for dessert. Sadly for us, he is cooking again tonight and I'm out of Tums. I mentioned to my husband that this lesson is going to be harder on us than it is on him.

Sometimes parenting hurts the parents more than the kids, in this case, the physical pain of heartburn! Seriously though, many times it hurts to watch our kids learn lessons caused by their behavior because the consequences for their actions can be painful and hard. Sometimes we parents even remove the pain of the consequences because it hurts us so badly that we can't bear to see our kids go through it but then the lesson isn't learned. I believe it's the same with God when we are suffering painful consequences and learning lessons. Our pain hurts God as much as it hurts us. The thing I'm reminded of though is that God, no matter how much it hurts Him, allows us to continue in the pain of our consequences so that we learn. It makes me think of what James says in chapter 1:2-4 - Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 

My encouragement to you is when you want to pull your kids out of their pain because it hurts you, don't. God your father allows you to go through the pain, so follow His example with your kids. It's hard, I know from personal experience, but in the end, it will all be worth it when your kids grow up to be godly men and women. But depending on the lesson, you might want to buy some Tums!